Tag Archives: update

Horror Movie Dreams

I’ve been getting some bomb ass sleep lately, which is great, but with those deep sleeps come some pretty wild dreams. I’ve been having scary dreams recently. I wouldn’t call them nightmares cause it’s not like I wake up terrified, but just where my dreams take on a real dark side.

I had one recently where I was going to a prescreening of a new horror film coming out and Β it claimed to be ‘too scary for theaters’ or something along those lines. So I go to see this movie and within 15 minutes of it starting, it had people half way out of their seats in terror. Whatever was shown on the screen literally frightened every single person and we all began screaming and running out of the theater, myself included.

Over the next few days, strange things started happening to me and the people around me started to change. They began acting extremely ‘dark’ and I guess kind of evil. And somehow, whatever scary thing that was shown in that theater became a part of my life and I was being followed or haunted by this thing. People became shapeshifters and would morph into this black demonic creature thing and try to get me.

But because I lucid dream like almost every time I have a dream, I was aware that this was just a dream and I had nothing to be scared of. So in knowing that, it was my job to prove that this wasn’t happening and to show I wasn’t scared of this thing and that was the only way this demonic creature would go away and go back to wherever it came from. So that’s what I did lol

And that was basically the end of my dream. I ended up fighting it off and it never bothered me again.

I like to think this is some dream metaphor trying to tell me that there will always be problems or situations or obstacles that will happen, and they might scare me and try to break me, but it’s my job to push back and to not be afraid. And in doing so, I will succeed.

That, or I have out of body experiences while I lucid dream and my life is the movie Insidious and those are actual demons trying to take over my body while I’m sleeping and I for real fought them in dream land to get back to the real world…..

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Thanks for visiting my blog. Have a great day everyone!(:

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Shootwithali

Hey guys! So I’ve decided I kind of want to separate my photography from my blog. When I first started this, I had intended it to be a place where I could voice my thoughts and opinions on topics or however I happen to be feeling, and somehow I slowly ended up making it more about my photos, posting more about that than what’s on my mind.

I will still post the occasional photo or two on here, but as I’m beginning to build a portfolio for my photography semi professionally, I have created my own website where I can showcase my work for potential clients or really anybody to view and contact me.

I hope everyone who has continued to enjoy my photography will also check out my website as I will be posting the majority of my photos on there!

Happy viewing!(:

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I Finally Moved Out

Hey guys! Welcome back to another blog post. I know I’ve been gone for a bit since I had my wisdom teeth removed but I have been kind of busy to be honest. Other than recovering from having my teeth pulled out, I returned to work for a bit, and, the main point of this post, I FINALLY MOVED OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE. Yay! I’ve actually been living in my new apartment for a little over a week now, but still. I’m excited(:

My boyfriend ended up moving back to Vegas along with his cool cousin and we all got an apartment together. And let me tell you, I’ve been wanting to move out of my parents house since I was like 16 years old; but I wanted to do it right and wanted to be comfortable in that situation. Sure, I had the means to move before, but just because I was unhappy didn’t mean that I was going to do anything dramatic and try to move out on my own.

But now that I’m older, getting to move out and getting to live with my boyfriend is suuuuuper liberating. Like this is all I’ve been wanting. To move out, have my own place, live with my boyfriend and be fucking happy as fuck lol

Seriously though, I’m even happier now that I get to come home to my cute ass boyfriend, cuddles, and Law & Order SVU like DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS!? He freaking cooks for me and is literally the best ever and I appreciate him so much. I’m actually excited to go home now. I actually WANT to be home lol as much as I love going to work and making lots of money, I think I love coming home to my boyfriend and his love way more.

But yeah, just thought I would share some of my happiness and excitement with you guys(:

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Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Have a great day everyone(:


Valentine’s Day 2016

I’m sure my feelings about Valentine’s Day will always stay the same. Meaning, it’s so pointless. It’s not a big deal and I would never make it a big deal because it’s really just another day to me. Who cares about getting gifts and flowers and chocolates or teddy bears or the retarded ‘traditions’ on Valentine’s Day lol. As if you’re ‘supposed’ to or something. Get me a gift randomly on any other day of the year and I may be impressed. But Valentine’s Day, no thanks.

I’ve been in Hollywood for a little over a week now with my boyfriend and how I look at it, basically every day that I get to spend with him is Valentine’s Day. Just because I love his company and we’re always affectionate with each other anyways. Our Valentine’s Day was simple. We just hung out at home all day and watched shows and listened to Kanye West lol

Then around 8 we went out to dinner. It was simple and nice. There was no need for some big extravagant gesture of love, like wtf, just getting to be with my boyfriend is enough because he’s so awesome. Like look at him 😭😭❀️

 I did have a good Valentine’s Day with him and just a great week in general. I hope everyone else has been having good days and enjoying life however you want to.

I was only going to stay in Hollywood for like 10 days but I decided I’m going to stay for 2 weeks again. I really have no reason to go back to Vegas at the moment so I’m just going to enjoy my time here and spend every day with my boyfriend.

Anyways, I hope everybody has a great day, and thank you for continuing to stop by my blog!(:

Feel free to go back and read my previous Valentine’s Day posts(:

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2 Months Later

Hey guys! So it’s about 2 in the morning right now and for some reason I’m deciding to blog…

The fact that I haven’t blogged in a very long time honestly really upsets me. I feel like I used to have so much free time and empty days, that all I wanted to do was blog about my life and the things that were happening. But as time passed, I suddenly became extremely busy with my life and didn’t have time to really sit down and type out a blog post or even begin to think about what I wanted to write about. But now that I’m here, and I have some time to type up somewhat of an update, I don’t ever want to stop pressing on my keyboard. I just want to keep on typing away and tell everyone about how my life has been lately.

I’ve been so so busy with work, basically ever since I got this new job in July. Basically all I do is work. I work every single day, with just Monday as my day off. I basically set my own schedule and work whenever the heck I want to. And with the insane kind of money I’m making at this age, I absolutely don’t mind working every single day!

When I’m not working, I just sleep to be honest. I don’t do much of anything else. I just focus on making my money and spending time with the few people who matter to me. On Mondays, I try to spend the day with my best friend Timmy. I have 3 best friends; Timmy, Danny, and Michi; but I really only get to see Timmy since he is always down to hang out since he only lives right down the street from me. Danny works a lot, which is awesome, and so do I, but we just never really have the same schedules to see each other all the time. And Michi lives about 45 minutes away from me, so it’s a mission to go and see her. But that’s totally alright, because lucky for me I have the kind of friendship with those two where we don’t have to talk or text or see each other all the time to know that we’re still best friends. We can not talk for the longest time like it’s no big deal, but the second we do get to talk to each other or hang out, we’re reminded of why we’re best friends and why we freaking love each other so much. I feel lucky to have friends like them because I honestly really suck at keeping in contact with people, even when I really care about them. But they know I love them(:

I’ve also done some traveling lately if you’ve been keeping up with my previous posts or my YouTube channel. Now that I have a car, money, and the means to travel, I just kinda get up and go anywhere I want, when I want, which is super cool. Sometimes you just need to get away and chill, so it’s nice to be able to jump in my car and drive away to the mountains and just relax away from everyone. I’ve been solo road tripping to California lately and it’s always super fun and awesome when I do. I’m already planning when I’ll be back there; which will be right after Christmas and through New Years. But I’m not just going back for vacation or just for fun; my fucking adorable ass boyfriend Brian lives there, so it’s like I get to be in one of my favorite cities with my favorite person.

He’s so cute omg.

I’ve also been working on my half sleeve tattoo that I’ve wanted to start since last year when I first got the tiki on my arm. As of right now, it’s almost completed, I just need to go back for one more session to color in the white parts and fill in the background. But talking about my tattoo will probably be a whole different post on its own. You know, if I can find the time to consistently blog like I used to. But I do want to try! It’s definitely going to be challenging to find time between working and sleeping to not only come up with blog posts, but to also continue making videos on my YouTube channel, which you should totally go and subscribe to right now if you haven’t already(:

I did upload a video yesterday, which I’ll probably embed in this post right after this sentence.

After many years of having the same hair; my long dark hair with my white blonde streak on the side; I decided to cut off my long locks and begin the process of lightening my hair. Which you will get to see in the video above, should you decide to watch it. I very briefly talk about why I wanted to change my hair and what I wanted to do with it, but it’s a great change. I honestly feel so much better with short hair, and more like… myself? If that makes any sense. Besides, short hair is sexy. And I’m absolutely LOVING mine. With that being said, I definitely have to update the photos I use on this blog so that they actually reflect on what the heck I look like now.

I just want to say thank you so much to all the awesome people who follow my blog here and like my posts and comment to ask me for advice and stuff. Like, that’s pretty freaking cool and awesome that certain posts inspire you guys and you actually want to comment to talk to me and tell me how you feel, or that my posts were helpful to you, or ask me about experiences I’ve had with things, and you leave me feedback. It’s still so awesome to me that random people of the internet come to open up to me, a total stranger, and ask me for my advice and opinions or to share their story with me; especially when it comes to my Bunionectomy posts. So thank you for an always awesome blogging experience! I love hearing from you guys!

I hope everyone has a great day or night or whatever time of day you happen to be reading this. Thanks for stopping by and continuing to read my blog!(:

 


I’m Getting There

Things have been, not so great for me lately. It’s been pretty rough. I’ve been sad and upset, and put down, and just not myself lately. Sometimes I find myself wanting to crawl up in a ball and stay in my room and cry and not come out or participate in life for awhile. But even with those thoughts, I continue to surprise myself on how I’m able to push through everything the best I can, deal with the shit and negativity; because what else can I really do; and continue to do the best I can do for myself so that I can finally get out of this town.

It takes everything I have to not give up and to keep trying. But I know eventually I’ll get to where I want to be; and to be truly happy.

Not everyday is a bad day though. A lot of the time I do have good days thanks to my best friends who are so willing to come out with me at odd hours of the day to have random adventures and to escape a hectic and stressful life for a bit. I’m forever grateful for the few friends I have that are willing to go on those adventures and random drives in the middle of the night with me. Who’ll have those deep talks about life with me but also be able to just go out and be crazy and random.

But when I’m not keeping myself busy with work or seeing a friend, things seem to go wrong for me otherwise. And it’s annoying. And repetitive. I find myself using any excuse I can to not be home, and to get out of the house and do something or hang out with someone; just so I don’t have to be home and around such negativity. But overall I still try to keep a smile on my face and maintain my bubbly personality that everyone loves about me. It gets tiring. And I don’t want to have to always feel the way I’ve been feeling or awhile.

It honestly sucks when you’re trying so hard to get your life started and you’re doing absolutely everything on your own and you have the closest of people trying to set you backward so that you don’t go anywhere. Like WTF, be cool and either help me out or stay out of my way. If you’re not going to help me reach my goals or say anything positive then there’s no need for me to tell you anything about what I’m doing or my plans. I just have to triumph over all the bullshit and do my own thing, despite all this overwhelming negativity around me.

All I can do is try my best to keep a positive mind and attitude, work hard, save all my money, and when I feel that I am fully financially prepared, move away and start new someplace else.

I know that once I’m out of here and doing my own thing finally, I’ll be at my best and I’ll be my happiest because I’ll finally be away from everything that once drove me crazy. Hopefully by the end of this wild and emotional journey, all the bad things haven’t taken too much out of me and I’m able to collect myself and start again in a new home, in a new city, in a different state, and different environment.

Thinking about the future and where I want to be, where I want to go and who I want surrounding me; where I know I’ll be in less than a year of hard work, determination and saving, gets me really excited.

I have to do what’s best for me and what will make me happy, regardless of what anybody else thinks about it. Because if there’s anything I’ve learned at all in my 21 years of living, it’s that no one is ever going to tell you that what you want to do is a good idea and that you should do it. But who cares. Go for it. Do what you want and don’t regret it. Especially if it’s something you really want or something that will make you happy.

I’m not afraid to be alone anymore in whatever I’m doing in life. I’ve realized that I’ll probably be alone for this journey, but fuck it. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take these chances and do something different. I’m doing this for myself, with or without anyone’s support or encouragement because I know it’s what I want. Everybody deserves to be happy, in whatever way that may be for them.

And I know my happiness will come soon. Maybe in more than one way.


I’m Back!

Alright you guys, so I obviously haven’t posted ANYTHING at all since March of this year and it wasn’t until about a month ago that some of my old friends were asking me why I stopped blogging things. They all told me that they really loved reading my blog and a lot of other random people who have read it before said the same thing too.

I just stopped after awhile because I felt like I never had the time to make decent posts. There’s a process I go through to create and put a post all together to publish and it is a little time consuming and I just didn’t have the extra time between work and trying to see people when I’m not working, and then being tired cause I never got a lot of sleep. But after thinking about it, I really do find myself missing blogging on here, so I wanted to get back to it and post on here every once in a while. Definitely not every other day like I got to do before but hopefully once a week or something I’ll find the time to get shit together to publish.

While I was awake last night, I went through my ENTIRE blog, all 100+ posts of mine, and I read through all of them. And I actually really enjoyed reading my blog as well and it gave me some new motivation and ideas on what to write about next. So I am excited to get back to brainstorming and blogging.

But I do want to say thank you again to everyone who has seen my blog, visited my blog from other countries, followed, and enjoyed reading my posts. That’s pretty freaking cool(:

So thanks guys! And definitely stay tuned for more new posts to come! πŸ˜€


Bunionectomy: 10 Weeks

I apologize for the late update on my Bunionectomy this time around! I’ve been going out a lot and haven’t had time to write up any posts. And I’m kind of lazy x) But at the moment I am free and not doing anything of great importance, so I’m here typing up a few different posts for you guys(:

This one is obviously about my second Bunionectomy surgery that I had in mid January.

It is now 10 weeks post op! After 6 weeks is when I could start walking again, so I have been on my feet for nearly 4 weeks now. And just like last time, I didn’t have any trouble getting back on my feet. I just put some pressure on it and started walking just fine. Of course with a limp though because I had the big clanky walking boot on for about a week more. But since the swelling in my foot isn’t that bad at all, I was able to fit my foot into my vans shoe and wear them(: So yay for being back in my shoes! πŸ˜€

Of course with my normal shoes at first, I still walked with a limp because I wasn’t putting full weight on it and it also wasn’t familiar with the natural bend at the toes movement while walking since it’s been a while x) But because I’ve been walking A LOT, and I can’t stress A LOT enough, my foot got its groove back and I’m walking normally now.

My foot’s obviously not 100%, but it’s well enough where I can be out and about, walking around and even jog a bit. I’m still not able to stand on my toes of course, that’ll take another month or two to get that ability back. I actually forgot that I couldn’t do that yet and when I was at the store I was standing on my toes with my weight mostly on my right foot, and I set that foot down so my weight was on my left foot now and since I couldn’t hold up my weight with my toes yet, my foot kinda fumbled and I was like.. Oh yeah.. Forgot I can’t do that yet. It’s kind of like when you’re standing or walking and your leg gives way at the knee and you stumble x)

I feel like I haven’t talked about my Bunionectomy in the longest time, I don’t even know what to say about it. Lol

But just to sum it up, everything is well. My recovery is happening very fast, must faster than last time, I’m healing properly, and everything looks good. I’m not having foot pains when walking or anything.

Here’s some photos I took of my foot earlier.

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My scars next to each other x)

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Thanks to everyone who has followed my blog and stayed on top of these updates and my other posts!

Have a great day, everyone!(:


Bunionectomy: Sweet Relief

Today is day 18 post op, and I went to the doctor for some xrays and to get my stitches removed. After telling my doctor about my fall the other day, she looked at my xrays, told me that everything looked fine, however the screws in my foot did move a little bit out of place. She says it shouldn’t effect the overall healing of my foot, but there is a lot of bruising and swelling going on from it. She says I was lucky that my bones didn’t split. I was pretty relieved to know I didn’t damage my foot too bad.

After that, she removed my stitches, put more of that white antibiotic cream over my incision, which she said looked really good, then put new dressings over my foot.

And that was pretty much it. I didn’t get to take photos of my foot from today cause things moved pretty fast and I wasn’t really thinking about it. I was just glad my foot was alright. Maybe I’ll take photos in a few days just to record the progress.

My next appointment is in 4 weeks on March 5th, which will be 6 weeks post op, and 6 weeks means I can start walking again. Four weeks is going to feel like forever though. These last two weeks have felt like a month and it’s sucked, so four weeks, ugh. I seriously have little to no patience.


Bunionectomy: 2 Weeks

Ugh. The last hour was very, very traumatic.

I was in constant, severe pain after I fell off my knee walker and took a step with my bad foot. Like, I literally fell to the side and put my foot down and put so much damn pressure on it. I’d say about 75% of my body weight. I did have my boot on, but man, as soon as I pressed that foot down with that amount of pressure, I was lying down and crying on the floor hysterically. I was horrified. I had to call my dad and wake him up to come to my room and help me relax, get up, and ice it.

This makes me really worried. Could it be bruised? Could I have messed up the healing process of the inside of my foot? My foot is, of course, still swollen but I know I didn’t rip my incision because thankfully there was no bleeding. If there was bleeding after that step, I most definitely messed something up.

I am on strict orders of ABSOLUTELY NO WEIGHT BEAR for 6 weeks. Today marked exactly 2 weeks. That’s especially too soon to even think about having any kind of pressure on my foot. There’s a reason why there’s supposed to be no weight bear for 6 weeks; the tissue needs to heal, and so does my bones, which has three screws in it. Putting any kind of weight on my foot this early can disrupt the healing process, making it even longer, and very possibly fracture my bones surrounding the screws, or the screws could move out of place and my bones will heal incorrectly in the wrong place. All of these are possibilities.

I really just hope I didn’t mess anything up by taking that intense step.

It’s been a little over an hour since it happened and my foot is still in a lot of pain, even though I am currently icing it and took a pain pill. It’s intensely throbbing and I’m feeling very sharp pains. I’m hoping that icing it will keep my foot from swelling even more, if it is, and just keep my foot alright until morning. I guess I’ll just see what happens tomorrow, if I have any more pain or if it’s bruised or anything.

I visit the doctor for the second time on the 4th, and I’m taking xrays and having my stitches removed, so hopefully my doctor will be able to tell me whether or not I disrupted anything.

Btw, this is why I try my best to not move much or at all and just stay in bed unless I need to pee. I never want to risk getting hurt, bumping my foot, or experiencing what just happened. All I was trying to do was turn the light on, and I paid the price for it.

I just hope everything will be alright with my foot.

[Next day update: My foot is still in pain from last night. It’s not as painful as it was, but still way more painful than it has been for the normal days. I’ve been icing it all night and I am currently still icing it, hoping it will make a difference. The pain has moved from under my foot, where it really hurt last night, to the top of my foot on the right side where my incision is. It is also a little red near the middle of the incision where the screws are. Honestly don’t know what this means, but hopefully everything will be alright.]