Tag Archives: thoughts

I Have Too Many Thoughts

Today I decided to type up some of the random thoughts that pop into my head throughout the day and some of the things I think about on a daily basis when something happens. I always have a lot on my mind, but I don’t always express it. I just have too many thoughts and I don’t feel like I need to bother anyone with all my thoughts or questions on different things.

So anyway, here are 20 of some of the random thoughts I have:

  •  When I make my hedgehog look in the mirror does he know it’s himself or does he think it’s another hedgehog? I definitely underestimate him but I still don’t know just how smart he is. But swear, one time when I was super drunk he looked at me like he knew all my secrets.
  • Why do I own so many clothes when I only wear about 50% of them? And why do I still keep the things I don’t normally wear, as if I’m gonna magically start wearing them again?
  • It’s so annoying when people think they’re right about fucking everything and can’t admit they’re ever wrong. So they just argue about it and call you names because they don’t want to back down and just admit that they were wrong. Like stop being a stubborn little child and grow the fuck up.
  • I really suck at non physical communication with friends and people. I just don’t like texting or talking on the phone or messaging or anything like that. If it’s not an in person conversation, I basically have almost no desire to talk to you. I’ll receive a message, look at it, form a response in my head, and then not reply back. I mean, not always of course. I do reply sometimes but only if the other person is interesting and can hold an interesting conversation for a bit and not be boring. But even then I don’t reply right away.
  • I wonder what I smell like to dogs. Do I actually smell like my wild Madagascar vanilla lotion to them? Do they even know about vanilla?
  • I wonder what my hedgehog’s voice would sound like if he could talk. I hope he’d have a cute voice and not a super deep old man voice.
  • I LOVE blogging and writing and getting my ideas down on paper, or on the internet, but most of the time I’m consumed in life and having a good time that I feel like I don’t necessarily have time to write. Which is untrue because I totally have time, I just don’t take the time to sit down and blog. I honestly use that time to sit in my room and listen to music while I daydream or dance around. I like to think I’m too busy to come up with posts, but I really have a lot on my mind and a lot to talk about that I don’t actually say.
  • I don’t care if this makes me sound like a total bitch, but it’s honestly so satisfying to see someone I hate struggling in life. Like yasss bitch, you deserve it. I don’t care where you are or what you’re doing with your life, but if I happen to see you struggling and having a hard time, GOOD(: How can you expect bad things not to happen to you when you’re a shitty person? You struggle and your life sucks because you suck lol. But to everyone who I don’t hate, and those who have personally never done me wrong, I hope life is good and you all have great days and you feel loved and happy.
  • I really like potatoes. I should go eat potatoes.
  • People who complain at rock shows are annoying. Like I don’t get the people who go to hardcore shows or festivals like Warped Tour and complain that they ‘got hurt’ lol like you’re in the crowd what did you think was going to happen. That’s part of the experience; you have to expect it. I’ve been tossed around and kicked in the head and fell on by people too big to crowd surf countless times at shows and I never complain. I’m in the pit, of course that’s gonna happen. I’m used to it and I love it. I wouldn’t want to go to a show if it’s going to be boring and everybody is just standing still and not getting into it. But if you can’t handle that then you should just watch on the sides tbh.
  • Why do people insist on copying you, the things you have, and the things you say and do? Like you really have no personality at all that you have to try and take mine? I personally know a couple people who have no personality and no opinion on anything so they just copy everything I like, everything I say, and everything I do. There was this time I told someone a little detail about something I went through and now they’re using my exact words and phrases and telling it as their own story lol like what the fuck. Not only did you steal my memory but you had to use the very specific phrase I used to describe it and think I wouldn’t know. Retard.
  • It’s weird to me that I have shopping phases where I won’t want to buy anything and don’t buy anything for a few months, then all of a sudden I want to go out and buy everything I see that I want. (Of course I don’t do that, but still)
  • I find myself daydreaming a lot. Like is this normal? Does anybody else daydream profusely or is it just me? I will literally wake up in the morning, kill time on my phone by opening Spotify, listening to music while checking my emails, browsing through Instagram and Snapchat and my blog. Then I’ll just be consumed by random thoughts and start to daydream about something before deciding to come back to reality and participate in life. Or when I’m watching tv or eating, I start to daydream randomly.
  • I love counting my money everyday. Because I make so much money I literally love to count it every day. It sounds silly, but bringing out a big ass stack of 100’s and counting how many thousands I have everyday is so satisfying. And then when I get paid every week and get to add at least another thousand to it is even more satisfying.
  • I like being alone and I don’t mind it at all. I’m happy when I get to be by myself and I’m perfectly fine with that. But I’m also really happy when I get to be around friends. However, in all honesty I get bored of people so fast, or I’ll just get annoyed being around a lot of people so I’d rather be alone and enjoy my own company. Unless it’s my boyfriend, then that’s different. I really enjoy his company, even if we’re just sitting at home doing nothing; and he doesn’t annoy me at all lol
  • I hate how easily I tan. I know everybody wants to be tan and they try so hard to achieve a perfect tan, but me, on the other hand, I try my best to stay as light as I can. I’m not white or pale by any means; I naturally have a little tan to my skin, but I’m still considered really light. But I just never want to tan or get darker.
  • Props to the people who actually have the courage to come up and talk to me WITHOUT being a fucking idiot. Most of the time people are too scared to talk to me so they’ll just awkwardly stare at me as if I can’t see them and they’ll never actually say anything to me. Or I get the people who come up to talk to me but they just act stupid and think they’re the shit. Like, it’s totally fine to introduce yourself but don’t be dumb.
  • I’m really not sure why I love plushies and stuffed animals so much or why I have so many of them. I don’t ‘need’ them, but I obsess over their cute, derpy faces and I have to have them! I don’t think it’s a comfort thing, more like I love collecting and having a bunch of cute ass plushies with adorably derpy faces.
  • I love watching makeup tutorials and sometimes I’m like ‘hey that’s cute, I’m gonna do my makeup like that’ but then I remember I’m actually not that into makeup and don’t have the patience to do any of that shit. Just simple bb cream, bronzer, and mascara works for me(: I look better with less makeup anyway.
  • I’m very territorial. Like just in general. If it’s mine, don’t touch it, don’t use it, don’t even think about using it. Sharing is my least favorite word. Especially when it’s a material object and I know the person either has one of their own, or could easily go buy one. Like what the hell, do I look like a fucking Goodwill to you? How about if you want one go freaking buy it yourself because no, you can’t use mine. Again, my boyfriend doesn’t count. I don’t mind if he touches anything of mine because I know he respects my stuff. But anyone else wanting to use something of mine pisses me off so much. What’s mine is mine, including my boyfriend, so don’t touch him either lol

— —

 

Hope you enjoyed my ranting about some of the thoughts I  have, and thank you for stopping by my blog(:

Advertisements

I Finally Moved Out

Hey guys! Welcome back to another blog post. I know I’ve been gone for a bit since I had my wisdom teeth removed but I have been kind of busy to be honest. Other than recovering from having my teeth pulled out, I returned to work for a bit, and, the main point of this post, I FINALLY MOVED OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE. Yay! I’ve actually been living in my new apartment for a little over a week now, but still. I’m excited(:

My boyfriend ended up moving back to Vegas along with his cool cousin and we all got an apartment together. And let me tell you, I’ve been wanting to move out of my parents house since I was like 16 years old; but I wanted to do it right and wanted to be comfortable in that situation. Sure, I had the means to move before, but just because I was unhappy didn’t mean that I was going to do anything dramatic and try to move out on my own.

But now that I’m older, getting to move out and getting to live with my boyfriend is suuuuuper liberating. Like this is all I’ve been wanting. To move out, have my own place, live with my boyfriend and be fucking happy as fuck lol

Seriously though, I’m even happier now that I get to come home to my cute ass boyfriend, cuddles, and Law & Order SVU like DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS!? He freaking cooks for me and is literally the best ever and I appreciate him so much. I’m actually excited to go home now. I actually WANT to be home lol as much as I love going to work and making lots of money, I think I love coming home to my boyfriend and his love way more.

But yeah, just thought I would share some of my happiness and excitement with you guys(:

— —

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Have a great day everyone(:


Wisdoms Pt.3

Good afternoon and welcome back to another new blog post! Now the last time I talked about my wisdom tooth situation was at the end of February; which you can read here(: I mentioned how one of my bottom wisdom teeth had broken through my gums, but at the time I was not feeling any kind of pain or discomfort. I wish I could still say the same thing. A few months later now, and my mouth is in so much pain. Obviously the wisdom is coming in more and my gum behind that tooth is swollen and inflamed. Basically it’s so difficult to eat, and almost every time I chew I bite on a chunk of my gums back there. The other night I couldn’t even enjoy a nice acai bowl because it was too painful to eat. I had to stop because my gum started bleeding 😦

Shortly after my last wisdom tooth post, I had a dentist appointment to take new xrays and to be recommended to the oral surgery place that would be taking them out. After going to see the oral surgeon, I will have to take all 4 of my wisdoms out, and it will cost me a total copay of $550. Which is super disappointing because before we had to switch over to a different insurance, my brother had gotten all 4 of his removed and it only costed $175 in TOTAL. AND he didn’t pay for it. My parents paid it for him. But no, for me it’s $550, and I have to pay for it myself, without any offer to help from my parents. Like okay, I know you favorite the first child, but damn.

After getting the quote on what it would cost me, the surgery place had to send out paperwork AGAIN to my insurance so that they could pre approve it. So I had to wait even longer to get them removed.

A few weeks later I get a call saying they have the pre approval and to call them back to set up an appointment to get them removed. YESSS FINALLY!! But, of course it wouldn’t be that simple for me. I had asked if the quote I received during my first visit was still the total, and if I could make payments on it. Usually dentists are pretty helpful about doing a payment plan, but no, to my disappointment the lady told me that they don’t do that and I have to pay the total in full before my surgery. Awesome, there goes a decent chunk of my money…

AND THEN, when I asked when they could get me in for my surgery, the soonest was at the end of June. I picked a date that worked out for a family member to be able to drive me, and I settled for Tuesday June 21 at 9am. When I had first made the appointment, it was May 20th. So I had to wait ANOTHER month before I could have them out. At this moment it’s June 11th, so I have just over a week until the surgery.

I’m relieved I am finally getting them removed but I’m also totally terrified. Any kind of surgery involving my mouth or throat is crazy. Like they have to dig into my jaw to get my teeth out.. that’s fucking scary lol

I’m not looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to it if you know what I mean.

Anyways, thank you for stopping by my blog and I hope everyone has a great day!(:

 


Vegas shows vs. LA shows

With my recent travels to Los Angeles, I have been going to quite a few shows while I am there. I think I’ve been to enough where I can notice a major difference between growing up going to shows in Las Vegas versus going to shows in Los Angeles.

In my opinion, I dislike Los Angeles shows so much. As much as I love LA, going to shows there is sooo boring. The crowds are lame and no one does anything other than stand around or record everything on their phones. 

Now, I grew up in Las Vegas as a hardcore kid. I went to a lot of rock, punk, and metal shows growing up. I’m used to crazy crowds, moshing, crowd surfing, and getting tossed around or kicked in the face accidentally. To me, that’s a fun show. If I don’t walk away with some battle wounds, was I even really at a hardcore show? Lol

So being in LA and going to some shows, and being in crowds that didn’t interact or do anything was just weird. I went to go see one of my favorite bands, All Time Low, in Los Angeles and they played with Sleeping With Sirens and a few other bands; and I still enjoyed the show because ATL is one of my favorites, but I’m so used to seeing them in Vegas where the crowd is crazy and we’re all jumping around and having a great time together, but that show in LA was just plain boring. Everyone just watched. What’s the point of being there then? If I’m just going to stand and watch I could be at home doing that lol

And then I went to go see Silverstein with Emarosa and a couple other heavier bands in LA, again the crowd was kind of retarded and nothing like what I’m used to.

As much as I don’t like Vegas, going to shows here is wayy better than going to shows in LA. The energy of the crowd, the interaction, everyone is hyped; that’s what I love about going to shows. That’s what I’m used to and that’s what I expect, especially out of a hardcore show.

Even on Saturday when I went to Extreme Thing, it was really refreshing to go to a music festival in Vegas where the crowds are what I’m used to and what I love. I had such a blast being a part of the crazy crowds. 

Deciding to go to Extreme Thing and having the best time there gets me super pumped for Warped Tour this summer! I originally wanted to go to the one in Pomona, CA since I had planned to be in LA for my birthday visiting my boyfriend anyway. But since I went to Extreme Thing, I would actually prefer to go to Warped in Vegas instead just because I know how the crowds are and know they will be awesome as always. So hopefully I can get my boyfriend here for Warped and we can go together. I want him to experience what going to a real hardcore show is actually like since he’s never really been to one lol

Well, I hope everybody is having a great day, and thanks for dropping by!(:


What A Week!

This week has been crazy! As my first week back from being in California with my boyfriend, it was a very productive and long one! I have only been back in Vegas for 11 days but it feels like I’ve already been here for a month since I worked every day for long hours and was exhausted every day. It made my days seem way longer than just 24 hours. But what a week it has been for me! Just as I predicted I made over $3000 for the week and I could not be happier. Thanks to all the people who came to Vegas and made my work week awesome(:

Unfortunately all my bills are due next week so a little over $1000 of what I just made will be gone, but the rest is all mine to save. 

Again, I’m deciding to type up a blog post at the weirdest time; it’s currently 1:50am and I don’t really know why I do this. I’m just kind of laying in bed right now and typing things up as they come to me xD

But yeah, I just wanted to share what an amazing work week I had(: It’s funny to think I’m only going to be in Vegas for maybe another two weeks until I head back to Los Angeles again 😂 but I’m always there anyway. I basically live in LA and work in Vegas. 

I’m really excited for the next couple weeks and of course going back to LA cause that’s where my cuddly boyfriend is, and I can’t wait to see him again(:

I ended up deciding to take the next couple of days off just to relax and reward myself for working as much as I did last week. Plus I have a couple of appointments to go to and things to take care of. 

Hope everyone had a wonderful week as well! And thanks for stopping by(:


Late Night Thoughts

Last night when I couldn’t fall asleep I was having random thoughts about my life and decided to type it up on my phone. But again, I was so tired I didn’t actually post it xD So I’m just going to post it now, as I wrote it last night. 

Right now as I’m writing this, it is 12:57 am, I’m so tired and exhausted from work but I can’t sleep, and I can hear my hedgehog crunching away at his food.

I’m having late night thoughts about my life and just how things have been. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little stressed, but that’s just because I have been working everyday for like 10 hours. I constantly come home exhausted and never get enough sleep for the next day; and as much as that bothers me to come home feeling like poop everyday, I can’t really complain because with the crazy amount of money I make, I’m willing to sacrifice my days for. It’s not like I have much to do in Vegas anyway to be honest. My boyfriend currently lives in Hollywood so it’s not like I have him to look forward to or hang out with everyday, and the one friend I have works too so we don’t get to chill a lot. I don’t have much to do so why not be at work and make money?  I pretty much dedicate my time in Vegas to working and making my thousands every week, and just saving everything so I can actually enjoy life and not struggle with money. 

Thinking about how things currently are and what the future holds makes me really happy. I can’t complain about how crazy awesome my life has been and how positive things are. I’m making my money, managing my finances, traveling and doing the things I want to do, and I have an awesome boyfriend who I care so much about and adore. Like it can’t get any better at the moment. And I’m so proud of the things I have accomplished in such a short amount of time. I want to stay on the path I’m currently on for a while, and I may never have to work again and just live off my riches. Cause I don’t know about anyone else, but I plan to retire when I’m 30 🙂 I’m not trying to work for the rest of my life lol

It’s currently spring break in Vegas, meaning there is lots and lots of people coming into the city and that gives me a chance to make so much money off of them. I normally average about $1500 a week, but since it’s spring break and super busy at work I’m expecting to make a little over $3000 for the week. So that’s pretty cool. I mean, who cares about not being able to go out and do things when I’m making that kind of money lol 
But life has been good. I’m grateful for everything I have and everything I am able to do because I made it happen for myself. Nobody helped me with anything, or helped me get anywhere, and it feels good to say all the things I have I paid for myself and did everything myself. I’m grateful for all the opportunities that have come my way and I’m grateful for the way my life changed so fast, and the life I am able to live. 

It’s like almost 1:30am right now, so I should try and get some rest.

Thanks for continuing to stop by my blog! Have a great day everyone, and here’s to the future!(:


Wisdoms Pt.2

It’s been just over a year since I first wrote about my wisdom teeth coming in and having some discomfort with them. If you’d like, you can go back and read it HERE. I was told that all four of them are impacted and that I would need them removed. But when they sent out the request to our insurance to get me approved to get them taken out, our insurance said no. Because they’re dumb as fuck and said that my wisdoms have to be actually coming in, breaking through the gums, and to be infected before they can approve it for me to get them removed. Which is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I need to have an infection in order to be approved to get my wisdoms taken out WTF. The longer I have them, the more they will grow in, and since they’re impacted, they will push against my molars and make all my other teeth crooked.

But anyway, back to the actual point of this post. I haven’t had any kind of oral pain or gum or jaw aches or anything like that. Not like last time. But last night I was chewing ice cubes and the lower right side of my mouth felt kind of weird. It felt like I had some food stuck somewhere. So I felt around that molar with my finger and I felt the top of my wisdom tooth already out of my gums. And it’s the same one that was causing me pain last year. In the xray it showed that was the one that was coming in quicker than the others.

So two things, I haven’t had any pain or discomfort at all considering one has already broke through my gums. I didn’t feel any different other than thinking I had food stuck there but it was really just my wisdom poking through.

And two, of course I knew I was going to have to get them removed because all four are impacted, but I was totally dreading this day where I knew I would have to get them removed soon because they broke through my gums. As most of you may know, if you’ve been following my blog, I am not afraid of needles at all and surgeries are no big deal for me now, however, I am actually pretty nervous for this one surgery. It gives me horrible anxiety just thinking about it and what will be done. Maybe because I know they’re gonna have to dig deep into my gums to take them out ._. I mean, I know I will be relieved to have them gone, but the thought of it right now is a little scary.

This morning I made my appointment to go to my dentist so they can do updated xrays to see where the rest of my wisdoms are at the moment and so I can get approved to get them removed now. As much as I wish I could just avoid all this, and just let them grow in, that’s not even an option. I have no room for them, plus they’re all impacted so they won’t come in straight anyway, if at all. So these babies have to get yanked out ._.

This is the part where I would normally attach a photo showing what’s going on, but I couldn’t get a good angle on that wisdom coming in lol

But yeah, Wednesday morning is my appointment and I really hope my insurance approves it this time for me to get all 4 removed.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!
And have a great day everyone(:


I Don’t Get Sick?

This is basically the time of year where everyone around me gets sick or has allergies, the flu, the sniffles, sneezes, runny or stuffy noses and sore throats; and then there’s me. Is it weird that I rarely ever get sick? I never have the flu, I don’t have allergies, I don’t get runny or stuffy noses; like I’m always fine lol

As of right now, my mother is feeling really under the weather. She’s sick and has a lot of coughing and sneezing going on. She’s been that way since I got to California, and she says this always happens to her and she can expect to have it for two more weeks. Wtf that means that she will have been sick for a month. 

Note that my mother doesn’t really take care of herself very well. She thinks she does but she really doesn’t. She eats bird sized portions, and she doesn’t actually eat real food all that often. Or ever. She just ‘snacks’, on things like crackers and cheese, or on half of one of those baby ‘cuties’ oranges, or just something very small. She tells me she can have 4 cashews and she’s full and I’m like 😒 stop.

Basically because she never eats right or at all and doesn’t get her nutrients, I feel like that’s why she gets sick easily and stays sick for a long time. As if her body doesn’t have any defense or immune system to protect her or help fight off any kind of sickness.

And then there’s my brother, who isn’t really sick at all, but he’s been having a lot of allergies so his nose is all stuffy or runny, and he’s sneezing a lot.
And idk, these things are just weird to me because I never get sick like that. 
If I get sick, I’m suffering from a throat infection, my throat is bleeding, or I would get tonsillitis and tonsil stones all at once and I’d basically be dying. If I ever happen to be sick, I get sick with big things. But, the last time I had any of those things was before I had my tonsils removed. After that I never got any kind of sickness with my throat or nose.

It kind of sucks being around these people who are sick cause it’s kind of gross and makes me feel like they’re spreading their grossness and bacteria in the air and everywhere in the house 😪

Anyway, this was just a random thought I was having this morning. It’s time for me to get ready to go for my morning jog and work out.
If you’re one of those people feeling under the weather, I hope you rest up and feel better soon!

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great day!(:


Early Mornings

Being in Hollywood for two weeks at a time every couple of months kind of changes your mindset slightly. Maybe it’s because there’s so much to do there and I want to do everything. And it’s made me want to be more healthy, work out even more, and eat better. Well, actually it was my boyfriend who makes me want to be more healthy, but I feel like being in LA just added to it cause everybody there seems so active lol

When I’m in Vegas I’m so used to sleeping in till noon or 1pm, until I have to go to work at 4 and I’ll just wake up, get ready and leave without even having a day to do anything. Then when I come home at 1 or 2am I work out for a little bit but I’m so tired from being at work all day. I would try to do it every night when I came home but a lot of the time I was just too tired, and I ended up working out two days out of the week. Which sucked cause I never had time for anything.

But since coming back to Vegas on Saturday evening, I’ve decided to change my lifestyle a bit and work on being healthier.

Since Sunday, I have been waking up every morning at 7:30am, eating a light breakfast, and leaving the house around 8:30am, to go jog to the park and work out outdoors. And it feels way better, in my opinion, to work out outdoors in fresh air and enjoy nature versus being indoors. 

And since I eat a light breakfast before I leave, I take my protein bar with me and a big smart water to help keep me satisfied until I get home to make a real breakfast.

I’ve been waking up around this time for the last few days that I was in Hollywood and it felt good to wake up early and actually have a full day where my days seem longer. So now, I’m just making better use of that morning time.
I jog to the park, which gets me all warmed up, then I find an area in the park to stretch and do the rest of my work out routine. Which mainly focuses on butt and abs. 

I usually stay at the park for a couple hours and jog back home around 10:45/11:00, then make myself a couple eggs and toast for a real breakfast, then shower and go about my day.

And it really feels good to be awake that early and enjoy mornings and also get a good work out AND still have a full day.

  

Anyways, I hope everybody is having a great morning! I need to start getting ready so I can leave the house soon for my jog.

Thanks for stopping by!(:


Valentine’s Day 2016

I’m sure my feelings about Valentine’s Day will always stay the same. Meaning, it’s so pointless. It’s not a big deal and I would never make it a big deal because it’s really just another day to me. Who cares about getting gifts and flowers and chocolates or teddy bears or the retarded ‘traditions’ on Valentine’s Day lol. As if you’re ‘supposed’ to or something. Get me a gift randomly on any other day of the year and I may be impressed. But Valentine’s Day, no thanks.

I’ve been in Hollywood for a little over a week now with my boyfriend and how I look at it, basically every day that I get to spend with him is Valentine’s Day. Just because I love his company and we’re always affectionate with each other anyways. Our Valentine’s Day was simple. We just hung out at home all day and watched shows and listened to Kanye West lol

Then around 8 we went out to dinner. It was simple and nice. There was no need for some big extravagant gesture of love, like wtf, just getting to be with my boyfriend is enough because he’s so awesome. Like look at him 😭😭❤️

 I did have a good Valentine’s Day with him and just a great week in general. I hope everyone else has been having good days and enjoying life however you want to.

I was only going to stay in Hollywood for like 10 days but I decided I’m going to stay for 2 weeks again. I really have no reason to go back to Vegas at the moment so I’m just going to enjoy my time here and spend every day with my boyfriend.

Anyways, I hope everybody has a great day, and thank you for continuing to stop by my blog!(:

Feel free to go back and read my previous Valentine’s Day posts(:

Click

Click