Phases, Changes, and Being Yourself


‘Be true to yourself and be less concerned with what others think about you. Don’t accept their definition of you, but grow into a self-definition of your own.’ – Kishore Bansal

Isn’t it weird when people go through phases? Well, it’s not really weird to me, it’s more…. stupid, I guess. I think it’s girls more than anyone who go through the most dumbest of phases, but I’ve seen a fair share of both guys and girls. When people go through phases, it’s like they don’t know who they are. Like they have absolutely no sense of their own personality or what they’re into. And the thing is, people do this because they either really don’t know what they like and they’re still trying to figure out who the heck they are, or they’re just following the trends to fit in and seem cool.

And it’s really weird when you’ve known someone for so long, since they were little, and you watch them go through their phases and see them go from a cute little girly girl, to a slight alternative rocker, to a scene kid, to a hipster, and it’s like >.> Wtf are you doing? You’re dumb. (Yes, I am taking that from a personal reference. Someone who was always close to me happens to go through so many ‘phases’ and changes her mind a lot and she’s just lost and kind of dumb. lol)

When I was in school, I observed people a lot. I felt like I knew more about them then they knew themselves. And I noticed how many kids go through these phases and changes. Appearance wise, it just seems like they were trying to reinvent themselves physically to fit in, or be cool, but it wasn’t really them.
But it’s not just their appearance that would change; their personalities and how they think would change as well.
When someone was a cute little girly girl, they were happy and accepting of all things cute and cuddly and loved flowers and the color pink, then turned into somewhat of a loner when they went through their alternative rocker phase and wore band tees, then got extremely ugly and angry with the world and everyone for no reason and started believing they’re not good enough for anybody and only wore ripped black everything when they turned into a scene kid, then somehow reverted into a dumb wannabe fashionable hipster who willingly wears homeless people’s clothing, and strives too hard to be different by liking ‘vintage’ or old school things and trends.

It’s like everything they ever stood for or believed in, and things they said they would never be into because it wasn’t ‘them’, were completely disregarded and they just created a new person every time they went through a phase.
It’s just stupid. They just don’t trust themselves enough to know themselves. And it’s sad to see people so lost that they can’t even think for themselves anymore, and resort to following what’s popular or reinventing themselves every time a new fad comes up without even realizing they’re doing it.

Me, on the other hand; I’ve always been the same person. All through school, when everybody was changing and trying to be something else, I never changed. I was always just… me. I always looked the same, dressed the same, and thought the same and had the same outlook on everything. I didn’t change, I just definitely matured. The essence of what I am today is the same as when I was ten years old. It’s just maturity. I’ve become a healthier, fuller expression of that essence. And I’m still me.

You see, perceptions are derived from your feelings and your ability to be yourself, to own and trust yourself, and to say what you feel, even when it may be diametrically opposed to everyone else’s opinion. It’s just part of being true to yourself.
But people are too afraid to be themselves and too afraid to be different. They’re insecure about almost everything and it shouldn’t be that way.
People need to be more comfortable and confident in themselves.

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